FMLA requests involving military deployment and childcare can be confusing because different parts of the law seem to overlap but apply very differently. In this scenario, an employee requested FMLA leave to travel to Florida to care for her grandchild while the child’s mother, her ex daughter in law, was deployed on active military duty.
At first glance, this may appear to qualify for military qualifying exigency leave, since that type of leave can cover certain childcare needs during deployment. However, qualifying exigency leave only applies when the deployed service member is the employee’s spouse, child, or parent. An ex daughter in law is not a covered family member under the FMLA, so the deployment itself does not trigger qualifying exigency leave rights.
The employee also claimed in loco parentis status, explaining that she provides financial support for the grandchild and that the child’s father lives in her household. While FMLA does allow more than one person to stand in loco parentis to a child, that status only provides access to standard FMLA. Standard FMLA does not cover routine childcare or supervision when a child is healthy. It only applies to serious health conditions or bonding situations.
Because the child in this case is healthy and the leave request is based solely on childcare during deployment, the request does not qualify for FMLA protection. Employers may offer personal leave or other discretionary options, but the FMLA itself does not apply. The outcome would be different if the deployed service member were the employee’s son, because qualifying exigency leave could then apply.
This scenario shows how small details like family relationships and the reason for leave can completely change the legal outcome. Even well intentioned decisions can create compliance risk if these distinctions are missed.
Why This Blog Matters for HR Professionals
This blog breaks down a real world FMLA situation that many HR teams encounter but often struggle to analyze correctly (Than you Chasity). It highlights why understanding qualifying relationships, military leave rules, and the limits of in loco parentis is essential for avoiding compliance mistakes. If you administer FMLA or advise employees on leave rights, this example shows exactly why careful analysis matters.
If you want to build confidence handling complex FMLA and ADA scenarios, I invite you to join me in my upcoming 2 Day FMLA ADA Certificate Programs on January 14, 2026 or February 25, 2026. These programs are designed to help HR professionals apply the law correctly and build defensible leave practices.
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Elga Lejarza
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